It’s the Slow Drip that Matters
Shifting Our Mindset to Seize the “Jesus Moment”
My background is in education and there was always this reference to students’ brains being like sponges. They are primed and ready to soak up all the goodness you have to teach them. The idea being that it’s all about the frequency and amount of new material being introduced. The visual that comes to mind is from Pixar’s 2023 animated movie, Elemental, when baby Wade touches the sponge and gets completely absorbed in it. If you put a sponge under the faucet and turn it on high, the sponge cannot absorb it all. It feels frantic and overwhelming with water spilling over and splashing everywhere. But, if you turn the faucet on a slow drip, the sponge can take it all in in a calm, less hurried, yet, more productive manner.
Mary Flo and Megan, the brains behind the wildly successful Birds & Bees course, have taken a similar “slow drip” approach when teaching about how to talk to your kids about sex. The “sex talk” generally has this vibe of let’s sit down and get this over with feeling. The parent(s) often feels uncomfortable, thus making the child feel kind of nervous, and nearly instantly, the kid’s “mind sponge” begins overflowing. Too much counsel and too much discomfort at the same time and, ultimately, they can only take in a very small portion of what is actually highly necessary information. There is often very little mention of sex again, just kind of winks and nods here and there when the word or concept comes up. Never fear, Birds & Bees have nailed the approach and will have you “drip, drip, dripping” sex talk information on nearly a daily basis. It works! Sex is a super important topic that we want our children to understand completely. We want them to feel the normalcy that comes from short frequent installments, rather than a flooding of uncomfortable information. Sex will always be a part of their life, it has wonderful aspects, it also has repercussions, and we want our kids to hear the facts about it from us, in a “slow drip” fashion so they are as equipped as they can be.
You know what else has wonderful aspects and repercussions? Faithfully following Jesus. The sex talk and Jesus, who knew they were related!? If it is important that we “slow drip” the sex talk, because of its lasting effects on our lives in the short term, then it is even MORE important that we “slow drip” talking about Jesus because of its lasting effects on our eternity.
The idea of “slow dripping” tracks here. We want our kids to hear us talking about and referencing Jesus throughout the day, everyday, in the big moments and little moments. When they are wee little babes, we start by singing them, “Jesus Loves Me” and familiar hymns when we rock them to sleep. Then, a pretty predictable pattern follows, we do the usual send them to Sunday school and VBS, preschool chapels, play Christian music in the car and around the house, and pray at meal times, which is all really great. Keep doing all of these things. That is kind of where we live until they can read and write and have quiet times on their own or join a Bible study. It feels like we are giving them the “slow drip” of Jesus, but can we and should we do more? The answer…yes! But what does “more” look like?
Think about it for a second, how often do you reference Jesus in any form or fashion in a day’s time? If you don’t know, use today as a barometer. Actively take a count of the times you reorient a situation around Jesus with your kids.
After you take the Birds & Bees course, you have this new mindset of seizing any moment as a potential time to “slow drip” a bit of the sex talk. It’s like finding a new hyperfixation meal, you just can’t stop and won’t stop making it! Leaning into that idea, how many times a day can you reference Jesus? That is the running question. We want to have the mindset of, “How can Jesus be added here?” to be our running mantra (yes, I have now used mantra, sex, and hyperfixation meal in a piece about Jesus, stay with me)!
This is a mindset shift, so it’s going to take practice. Don’t be shocked if adding Jesus in almost feels hard to do, even if you are a strong Christian who loves Jesus, reads the Bible, attends church, etc. This idea is not an opportunity to feel poorly about our parenting, rather to tweak our parenting for the better. If it is not our norm to weave Jesus into the smaller moments in life, it might feel awkward. If you have younger kids, they probably won’t notice the small word changes and if you have older kids, they might ask you where the change came from, but alas, it came from the Holy Spirit working in your heart, so yet another opportunity to “slow drip” a moment for Jesus. Our lives are so busy going this way and that and it turns out that that is not changing, so we have to change something else. That something else is our words. Even with our bodies in seemingly constant motion, we always have time for talking, so we need to make our words count.
EXAMPLE 1:
You are hustling through the morning throwing frozen pancakes onto plates. One child is still trying to tie their shoes, another is asking you to button their shirt, you’re throwing lunchboxes into backpacks and about to head to the car for school drop off when your child comes to you in tears. Instant parent thoughts, “Not now, we are going to be late. Can’t this wait for later? What could possibly be wrong, it’s 7:45 am in the morning!” They are worried about a friendship at school and don’t want to go because it feels sad and overwhelming. Here is our opportunity to seize the moment and “slow drip” some Jesus:
Option 1: “Oh honey, it will pass. How long has this been going on? They may have simply been in a bad mood, just be sure to tell the teacher if it feels like it is getting out of hand, but I am sure everything will smooth over soon. If they are not being kind, just choose a different friend to play with today.”
Option 2: “Oh honey, let’s pray about that real quick. Dear God, this morning feels hard and ________ feels sad and alone. Please wrap your arms around her as she heads into this day. I pray that she will feel your presence with her and know in her heart that you love her more than she can imagine. Give her the courage to speak kindly and warmly to ___________ even when it feels hard. Help this tension to fizzle quickly and for the friendship to heal and continue to grow. Thank you for always hearing our prayers. Amen.”
EXAMPLE 2:
Your child got invited to a birthday party at a gymnastics gym and has been asking to take classes for months. The idea hasn’t faded any and the family schedule allows, so you sign them up. They go for three classes and then start complaining and dragging their feet about going. They say it’s too hard, they don’t even get to do the balance beam yet, and there is one little girl who never follows directions, thus taking the teacher’s attention away from the rest of the group. Here is our opportunity to seize the moment and “slow drip” some Jesus:
Option 1: “Might I remind you that you were the one that begged me for these classes? We bought a leotard and have already paid. The best thing to do is finish out what we signed up for and then we can change gears to something else. It’s important to follow through with things even when they feel hard and might not be going exactly how you imagined. Trust me, you’ll feel proud of yourself at the end.”
Option 2: “Trying new things is tricky because you feel excited about all the possibilities, but sometimes things aren’t exactly what you imagined and that’s fine. It is okay to feel like you don’t love every minute of something. Do you think Jesus loved every minute of his days? He was busy doing the greatest task EVER by spreading the good news about God, but surely he had moments where he was like, ‘it is really hot out here, I could use a little break, but alas, the fishing boat is about to leave.’ Every good thing has parts we like and don’t like, but it’s important to give it our best the whole time.”
These kinds of situations pop up everyday and with the pace of life, there can be this tendency toward hurriedness and quick fixes. But, as you can see, both of the scenarios take about the same amount of time. Yet, with Option 2, Jesus is brought into the situation, either in prayer or in a relatable anecdote. The comfort and peace that comes from having Jesus in your corner is so much better than any small band aid we, as parents, can put on the situation and it makes Jesus feel more accessible and “real” considering the abstractness of the trinity for kids. More importantly, it normalizes calling upon Jesus and including Him in the moment to moment of our lives, in all the ups and the downs, in all the praise worthy moments and all the desperate moments. Our first instinct is not always to jump to Jesus, but that’s the mindshift we need to make because that is where the “slow drip” happens. Our kids will, unbeknownst to them, become more and more comfortable adding in Jesus. They’ll find that He’s not this up in the sky, only talk about on Sunday, Jesus. Rather, He’s this I’m right here next to you, let’s chat, we can do this together, Jesus. Our modeling of weaving Jesus into the situation is the “slow drip” that normalizes Jesus talk, will open up opportunities to delve into deeper questions about faith, and ultimately, will lead to our kiddos “dripping” Jesus as they let their lights shine in their own day-to-day moments. Our kids “mind sponges” are ready to absorb. We have a choice everytime we say something and shifting our mindset to, “How can Jesus be added here?” will help us choose our words more carefully, helping us to more frequently reorient situations around Jesus. The “Jesus moment” will always be there to seize. The more we practice, the more it will prevail, and “slow drip” success will be achieved.
**Sidenote: If you are a parent of even a toddler, I highly recommend taking the Birds & Bees course now to have it in the back of your mind in the coming years and then to take a refresher course every few years. Their mission is to give parents the tools and confidence to talk to your young kids about sex and it’s so well done and informative. More information can be found here on their website: Birds & Bees.
Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.
-Teilhard de Chardin